Charlie’s story

When a child is diagnosed with cancer, or a life-challenging illness, the whole family feels the impact. Siblings can carry their own worries, guilt, and unspoken fears as they try to stay strong for everyone else. Charlie’s brother, Howard, was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer in December 2023. The family received support from Momentum during Howard’s treatment, which he has now completed. Charlie, 17, shares his story and talks about the value of true friendship during this time.

“When I first heard about Howard’s treatment, my first reaction was guilt. I felt guilty that he couldn’t play sport and do all the usual things he loved, whilst I was winning events and was fit, and healthy.

The problem I had was that I felt like I had to win everything because Howard was ill – I felt that I had to almost do his physical activity for him, and if I didn’t win, I was somehow going to make things worse for him.

I found myself going to the gym almost to escape, and I would walk home because it was longer than taking the bus, and it gave me time. Time to just be by myself and think.

I didn’t want to have friends back to the house as I knew that Howard was sick, and it wasn’t a space for fun, and it certainly wasn’t good for him to see me having fun and him being denied. I felt alone and guilty. Mum would ask me how I was doing, and I would always say I was ok, as I knew she had so much going on with Howard. Even though I felt alone, my friends were there in ways that you couldn’t imagine.

Anyone who knows Howard is aware that he is very keen on school, and he was desperate to get into school despite feeling terrible and having no energy.

Something that was really important to me happened one Monday when I was off sick from school. Howard knew that he had enough energy to walk to the bus stop that day, so he left early to walk by himself, and he got there in time, but the bus sadly wouldn’t let him on. It stopped, but then kept the doors closed and drove off, despite Howard pleading to be let on. Howard was really upset as he knew he couldn’t walk to school by himself and he was gutted because he was determined to get to school when he could.

Two of my friends were at the bus stop as well, and seeing Howard so upset, they helped him. One of them carried his bag, and the other one linked arms with him and assured him that they would help him get to school. So, there were these two Year 10 kids with a brand-new Year 7 boy, taking time out to make sure that he was OK. I was so proud.

They got about a third of the way to school, and Howard was too exhausted and couldn’t walk the rest of the journey, and he was a bit upset. My friends popped him on a wall and the biggest of the two piggybacked him the rest of the way to school. That for me, showed the true value of friends. It was really important for me, to know that there are people out there like that who will go the extra distance, and Momentum is exactly like that…exactly like my friends who helped Howard that day.”

Momentum recognises that brothers and sisters need support too. If you are being supported by us and would like to find out more about how we can help siblings, you can find out more here or speak to your Family Support Worker.