Preparing for cycling challenge in Ireland

“Just after Rory turned two, he became unwell – at first, we didn’t think too much of it, but then he started getting bruises on various parts of his body.

On 18 November 2022, I took Rory to A&E at Kingston Hospital where they did a blood test which revealed Rory had leukaemia. What followed, was months of intense treatment, surgery, and a lot of time in hospital, before he died in June the following year.

The summer before Rory became unwell, we took him and Oscar to Ireland to celebrate my mum’s 80th birthday. It was the boys’ first visit to Ireland and the only time we were able to bring Rory, which is what inspired me to take on the Ring of Beara challenge. When I am cycling, it almost feels as though Rory is there with me, and it means a great deal to know I am doing something positive in his memory.

In the lead-up to this year’s event, I trained for about two months, cycling 50–60km routes around Richmond Park. It is important to get out in all kinds of weather too as you never know what conditions you will face in Ireland!

The Ring of Beara is one of Ireland’s most iconic cycling events, with participants covering either 110km or 140km through the Beara Peninsula’s breathtaking mountains, valleys, and coastline. It is a demanding one-day challenge, and we took on the full 140km route.

The friends I completed the challenge with are old mates from university, and it means a lot that we were able to spend the weekend together.

When Rory was unwell, most people couldn’t see him because of Covid restrictions which were in place at the time. The four friends I did the Ring of Beara with, all had the chance to meet Rory and have special memories of him, which we often talk about while we are cycling. It is a very social weekend, and I like to think of it as a celebration of Rory’s life. Of course, there are both happy and emotional moments along the way.

I took on the challenge last year with the same group of friends, raising almost £10,000 for Children with Cancer. I have vowed to keep doing it for as long as I can, and hopefully, one day, Oscar will join me.

I have been living in London since 2003, but having been born and raised in Ireland, it will always hold a special place in my heart, and taking part in this challenge is a lovely opportunity for me to visit family.

The toughest part of the challenge comes around the 40km mark, with a series of rolling coastal climbs from Ardgroom to Allihies, totalling 1,190 metres of ascent. Lots of riders hop off their bikes and walk sections of those hills. While some stretches of the route are flat or gently sloping, they can stretch for four or five miles, bringing their own challenges. Knowing the order of the towns we would pass through and where our stops would be, made a big difference in getting through the day.

When we reached Kenmare, it felt like a true celebration. We took selfies, shared hugs, and I took a quiet moment to think about Momentum and everything they have done for us. Together, we raised more than £3,600 for Momentum.

When Rory passed away, it felt as though the world was collapsing around me, but you find ways to keep going. Time helps, though grief never really goes away; you just learn to live with it. What matters most now is being present and remembering those who are still here.

It is important to us that Oscar can live his life fully and move forward, while keeping Rory’s memory close to his heart. Oscar thinks Rory lives on the moon – he has a toy Moon in his room and says that is where Rory is.

One of my fondest memories of Rory is from when he was in Kingston Hospital, just before he had his seizure. He had been there for a long time, and one day he picked up my car keys, looked at me, and said, ‘I’m off!’ It was such a funny, cheeky moment – he had simply had enough of hospitals. I will also never forget how he used to tell Oscar he was going to the supermarket when he was actually heading to the hospital – there was a play supermarket at The Royal Marsden, which he loved.

Momentum’s support has been incredible – both while Rory was with us and since he passed away. We have joined their riverboat trips, gone fruit picking, taken part in a Pumpkin Parade, and visited London Zoo, all alongside other families at events organised by their bereavement team, Echoes. We have also made bead bracelets and other keepsakes to remember Rory. Every event has been wonderful – you can talk and share thoughts and memories if you want to, but there is never any pressure if you don’t feel ready.

Oscar has just started Reception, so there have been big milestones for us recently. We talk about Rory a lot and he will always be a huge part of our family.”

You can find out more about our bereavement support service, Echoes, here

Story taken September 2025.